Hong Kong 2025 ... poorer, fatter, and shorter
- mbwatts
- Mar 5
- 4 min read
After a month in the Philippines it is time for us to gently wend our way homewards. But first, my beautiful goddaughter lives in Hong Kong and I have never been. So this is the ideal opportunity.
It's a quick two hour flight from Cebu City to Honkers. Immediately upon arrival it's clear that HK is rather frighteningly efficient. After an incredibly cheap trip through the Philippines it's also a big bump back into financial reality.
Hong Kong island itself is a contrasting mix of gleaming new multibillion dollar development and rather attractively rundown tenement buildings with the occassional ancient temple. Surprisingly green and with excellent public transport HK felt like a peaceful haven after the din of the Philippines.
My goddaughter and her Italian fiancé both hold senior positions in hospitality. They are feeders. They made it their clear mission to ensure we left Hong Kong with a feel of what expat life is like here, what the high end culinary scene is up to, and what a French goose feels like after it has been force fed its tea.
Our trip was a wonderful culinary extravaganza.
A four day stay can't be representative. But judging by our experience, almost everyone is Italian, beautiful, and mid thirties. Everyone eats extraordinary quality food, complimented by incredible wines, and works for major international corporations, using job titles like Global Operations Director, which rightly achieves the acronym GOD.
I'm being flippant, and our sample was unrepresentative of the general population. But nonetheless I am extremely glad that we paid such attention to my goddaughters religious education. She is now marrying a GOD.
We loved our brief taste of Honkers, the colonial tram up to the view point at Victoria Peak. The wonderful Man Mo Temple, a fabulous juxtaposition of calm against its frenetic high rise neighbours. We enjoyed the Star Ferry which in some form or another has plied the strip between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon for 150 years, offering a cheap but stunning view of the waterfronts areas. We found their underground easy to use and super cheap. We wandered the Chi Lin Nunnery deep in Kowloon, with its amazing classical gardens and Buddhist statues. Apparently its the largest handmade wood building in the world, and they never used a nail! Clever the Chinese.
But most impressive really are the views. For us this provided the perfect cover for a finding the best rooftop bars and restaurants in the city. If you like food photos I've included a few in the blog as a mouthwatering reminder that everyone should spend a long weekend or a lifetime here.
Being consciously puerile, I will make special mention of the Geoduck. It's a type of giant salt water clam. I don't think it is local. But clearly represents the very pinnacle of Chinese cuisine. Ester Rantzen might have described it as the most amusing of all seafood, unless of course, you know differently. It was surprisingly delicious as sashimi when sliced extremely thinly. But nothing could detract from its monumental shaft and enormous testes.
To change the subject away from food, I did have a massage in Hong Kong worthy of description. I had undergone a massage in The Philippines where the skin of my back had been surgically removed by a tiny lady with cactus thumb skin. And so I was, I suppose, partially prepared.
Three of us arrived for a simple foot, leg and shoulder rub. As is so often the case in such establishments we were sat together in a row of armchairs last seen in my late Grandmas nursing home lounge.
I was loving it, but suddenly became conscious of the chatter and growing crowds of staff inspecting the soles of my feet. 'You want Shanghai Pedicure', it didn't sound like a question. A young lady who didn't look anything like a brutal sadist, arrived complete with head torch, pliers, scalpel and various coarse grade sandpapers. For a second I smiled but then the gruesome dissection began. She paired my feet down under the beam of her torch like a giant Parmesan. My loving wife and her bestie, in the neighbouring Parker Knolls, roared with laughter, even though they dared not inhale. The clouds of foot billowed. Honest truth, at the end she forced me to look at the contents of her waste bag whist muttering reproachfully in Mandarin. I swear when I left the parlour I was several inches shorter.
Hong Kong was a complete contrast to the Philippines. We had a fabulous time in both places. Back home now, glad to be in our own bed. Good to see the boys and Reggie. Unforgettable trip.
Post script: Sadly my goddaughter and her brother lost their dad on the last day of our stay in Hong Kong. I am pleased we were there to give her a hug. Anyone who has known us for a long time will remember Mark. We send our love and thoughts to all his family, particularly Ed and Charlie. I know he was extremely proud of you both. We will all miss him.
I personally will remember him as one of the biggest characters in my life. Opinion will be divided, but I saw him also as one of the wittiest. He was a man who could split a room as quickly as a round of marmite sandwiches. A man who's professional advice I very much benefitted from. We saw him in November last year, and despite the cruelest of neurological illnesses he remained Mark, smart, handsome, full of shit, and a good friend.
Nb : I had a lovely message from Ed:
I'd be more than honoured for u to share such meaningful and heartfelt sentiments on the blog in his memory ..... Just know, as I'm sure u do, he'll be laughing at u wherever he is for being such a soppy twat 🤣🤣🤣
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